You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
