Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
