My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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