I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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