He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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