Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
