That's when you crack a 10am beer
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
