Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
