i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
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you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
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Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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