She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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