Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
