guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
