Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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