we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she looked like the before picture.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
