so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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