p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
