Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
