She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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