good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
