who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
