i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
