i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize