hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
