i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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