Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
