did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
