Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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