My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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