So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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