I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
