Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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