lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
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