You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Vodka?
Forever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize