I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
