if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
and eventually we just all took our pants off
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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