i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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