So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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