I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
