The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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