When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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