Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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