my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
