So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hippo gnu deer
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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