Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
