My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
