i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
