She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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