Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
