is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
