i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You pole danced in your parka.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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