you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just had sex bonerless
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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