First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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