Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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