i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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