there was a trapeze. enough said
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
