She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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