If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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