in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
