Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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