the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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