Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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