I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
