we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
