Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize