So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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